# 1

I won some erotic pottery

In the California state lottery

But when I used it to mix Mai Tais

The result was really watery.





Whoever cares about


a dead dull aardvark


Glazed with wood varnish


In the gutter next to a Big Mac wrapper?





This one goes out to all the girls in Texas

Who wrestle with cows and eat snakes for breakfast

And tromp yellow roses with their steel-toed boots

And don’t got to IHOP for the fresh fruit pancake specials.


Girls who look the other way when they drive by the Sears

Put guns in their drawers and shots in their beers

And spit out the window at dead armadillos

And sleep in a bed without sheets or duvet covers.



Rhubarb!  Rhubarb!

Does anyone know your ecstasy as I?

Vegetable of the planets –

Serious and unadorned.

A fly in a carriage, or a toad on a tombstone

Cannot taste as good as you.




Don’t bother to call my daughter

My sister-in-law’s a lot hotter

She’s got lips for miles

And Crocs in three styles

And looks great in those thongs that I bought her.