Category: play


Therese throws down a large steak knife.

 

THERESE

(tearful)

Why do you stare at me so, Alphonse?

 

ALPHONSE

It’s just as my father always said.

 

THERESE

Machine wash warm?

 

ALPHONSE
Never love a pumpkin hater.

 

Alphonse takes his pumpkin away.

 

CURTAIN

Advertisements

Trude holds up the prize pumpkin.

TRUDE

How long was you planning to keep this pumpkin hid?

CLIFF

Until sich time as you’d treat it proper.

TRUDE
A real man don’t hide his pumpkins!

CLIFF

(awestruck)
That’s why I never saw daddy’s vegetation.
CURTAIN

Lisette plays with a cracked baby doll.

NANNY

(sternly)

I have bad news, Lisette.

 

LISETTE
Is it about my dead hamster?

NANNY

(tauntingly)

I will no longer ready you those Pippi Longstocking tales.

LISETTE
(stares out the window)

It is all coming true.

 

CURTAIN

A dimly lit Taco Bell.

LEN

Do you have any tacos for vegans?

CLERK

We don’t serve no space creatures.

LEN I’m from this planet.

CLERK Then don’t feed them alien overlords!

CURTAIN

 

 

A dimly lit Taco Bell.

ICE OFFICER
We’ve had reports of an undocumented chalupa biting cattle. I heard you serve those here.

CLERK
Don’t you mean a chupacabra?

ICE OFFICER
Do you serve those, too?

CLERK
Only if they can pay for their order.

CURTAIN