comedy
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Bella’s Sandwiches and More: 0 out of 5 Stars
I went to Bella’s Sandwiches and More for my usual Tuesday special which is the meatloaf-and-garlic-aoli double cheese sandwich on a brioche and everything was fine until I was leaving with my bag and my sandwich and my strawberry-acai oat milk when one of the shrimpy oaf-looking clerks stacking the sandwich sacks laughed and called… Continue reading
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The Raven Tattoo
Lisette proudly looked at the raven tattoo on her forearm with a smug smile. It was only three o’clock and she’d already had three tattoo compliments that day. The raven was small, but vivid and lifelike, about the size of a quarter, shown in profile as if staring at something happening near Lisette’s left elbow.… Continue reading
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Murder in Murk City Episode One
Detective Baggart took a left turn, steering his Dodge Tantalizer into an especially dense fog bank, and forged ahead over the damp pavement. It was yet another foggy night in Murk City, where the gray mist hung so thick in the air that it was a presence of its own, like a damp, unclean blanket… Continue reading
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Interview with The Heavy Metal Woman
from Heavy Metal Performance Art Quarterly, Vol. 3, No. 4 The Heavy Metal Woman sat on the lumpy bed holding a can of off-brand, lemon-lime soda, a half-smoked cigarette dangling from two fingers of her left hand. Her motel room was one of those soggy and efficient numbers that turn up in sparsely visited towns. … Continue reading
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Top Signs That a Dead Relative is Visiting You in Your Sleep
Cuban cigar stub on guest pillow Bedroom TV tuned to Nick at Nite Your portrait of Uncle Xavier is turned face to the wall You have a huge Andrews Sisters hit stuck in your head Strangely erotic dreams of Andy Griffith. Inexplicable piles of doilies on nightstand Strong desire to attend Robert Mitchum retrospective Your… Continue reading
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10 Things You Didn’t Know About Queen Elizabeth
Has never won her fantasy football league. Favorite Avenger: Black Widow. Has a secret husband, Norris, in Provo, Utah. Predicted the Pilates revolution. She insists on making her own meatloaf. Her sitcom idea about a wacky British colonial administrator with a panther fetish was turned down by the BBC. Favorite Angela Lansbury film: Bedknobs and… Continue reading
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My Bad Poetry #22
She devised an electronic cereal that detected her lack of excitement but the alternatives suggested were damp. Somewhere beyond her fictional redwoods stood the monumental Kleenex box, decorative live mice nodding, adorning its corners. They would pretend to chew her until the moon, with its poor sense of timing, approved the impregnable shapes oscillating… Continue reading
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American Weirdness
Check out my paranormal investigation parody: American Weirdness Continue reading
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I Was a Teenage Ghost Hunter II
The sequel is here! High school sophomore Devin Mulwray isn’t happy being known as the Ghost Boy at Grey Bluff High in Arcata, California. Since Devin’s dramatic encounters with the angry ghost of Rutherford Rousten, stories about his unique paranormal abilities have spread all over town. Devin’s trying to get back to a normal life… Continue reading